Don't give up when you're so close...

I've been hungry all day. and i've eaten more than I've eaten in a long time. but Pete did just point out that everything I ate was junk food so that might be the reason:

packet of crisps (i thought the corner shop would be the only thing open at 6:30am)
egg muffin and a hash brown (turns out mcdonalds was open)
fruit and nut chocolate bar (to give me an energy boost when i got to London)
slice of pizza
regular fries
vegetable wrap with fries (although I didn't eat much of this because I wasn't that hungry and I didn't like it very much)

and now I'm cooking some pasta cos im hungry again!



I didn't manage to meet up with Fabienne today, the world was plotting against us. her phone has died also. possibly possibly thinking of going to Preston on Weds to see her because it'll be my last chance before I leave.

I only had one hours sleep last night - and i just slept for half an hour on the train home. im so tired!

London was cool. I noticed that I always rush around in an attempt to look like I know where I'm going. Found my way to the embassy mostly through sheer luck. i almost asked some policemen for directions but then i noticed they had big guns in their hands so i stayed away (its funny that they dont make me feel very safe). the whole process didn't take too long really - about 2 hours. I now owe Ruth £80 though because there was a fee that I forgot to pay. money grabbing bastards.
i had to call Josalin from a phone box to tell her i'd put her name on my visa form - i had to put someone down who could verify my address and phone number that was a non-family member and she was the only person whos address and phone number i had with me. hope she doesnt get any dodgy calls. and if she does i hope she doesn't tell them that she doesnt know me!

we went to visit Buckingham Palace, the London Eye, walked on the Millennium Bridge and saw Big Ben, it was fun acting all touristy even if I have seen most of them before. it was the first day I've spent with Ruth that wasn't revolved around uni. its nice to see that we get on outside the classroom - bodes well for Keene. we met up with her friend, Yen, and went to a mexican restaurant where i tried my first mexican food. as i said, i wasn't too impressed.

i have a sore toe now. possibly a blister :(

its my last day at Derby uni until September but I have to go down to get my visa. all this is cool except for the fact that I still haven't started the assignment that was due in a couple of days ago and I now have no way of handing it in. woo! I'm just so...apathetic about the whole thing.

I put my Christmas cards up last night so my room is looking cheery. and it doesn't smell so bad anymore (I found that the smell was coming from a rotting potato).

I got pictures developed today of my last day in Edinburgh, they made me all weepy.
( Pictures on the wallCollapse )

I like going down to London for a day out :) looking forward to tomorrow.

SATURDAY 8PM AT THE VIC INN, DERBY.

Derbyshire folk should be there!!!

I got my physical examination report back today and it had my weight and height and stuff on:

weight = 62.5kg (9 stone 8 lb)
height = 1.66m (5 ft 4)

which gives me a body mass index of 22.7

BMI Categories:

* Underweight = <18.5
* Normal weight = 18.5-24.9
* Overweight = 25-29.9
* Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater


so I'm just normal. boring normal Emily. no need to worry :)

Well...thats it. I still have a month left in the country but I said my goodbyes to my Scottish ladies.

Got to the train station in Derby in excellent time, was really pleased with myself, then realised I'd forgotten to bring the back containing everyones cards/presents. I was so mad at myself! but there was nothing i could do about it.

( Jos' HouseCollapse )

( GlasgowCollapse )

( Back in EdinburghCollapse )

Was a good weekend. a good way to say bye to everyone. Claire's 25th is in a couple of weeks and I could go up for it but I'm really unsure about it. i wanna see everyone as much as possible but i think i should just leave it how it is now. I've said my goodbyes and I certainly don't want to go through the train station again.

I think because its a month before I leave its not properly hit me yet that that was it. Lauren coming into Elaine's room whilst I was sat on the bed and putting her arms around my waist, burying her head into my stomach and telling me she loves me was my last big massive amazing hug from Lauren until at least July.
Fuck, its kinda starting to sink in now I'm typing it. My last hug from Jos for months. Over half a year. Its just...well I don't think I need to explain.

What is it with songs this past weekend? Its like someone has been playing a soundtrack to my feelings. How appropriate that this song just came on my player

Goodbye, is this how you want it?
I'll leave, but I don't want to go.

I have a paper due tomorrow today that I have yet to start. I just spent over an hour and a half typing this. So not in the mood.

Don't worry about a thing
Cause every little thing is gonna be alright
Don't worry about a thing
Every little thing is gonna be alright

♥♥♥Jamaica Man♥♥♥

My phone has been cut off so I can't call or text anyone. So if you text me don't think I'm being rude by not replying.

I can still get incoming calls and texts.


actually the worst possible time for it to happen because of going to Glasgow tomorrow and I'm meant to be calling Fabi when I'm in London so we can meet up. I don't think thats gonna work now. bastards.

You can tell I have an assignment due, I'm being a total post whore.


I've just been stood for a good 20 minutes looking at myself in the mirror. yeah, im vain, so what?

i have this thing where i like to stand in just my knickers and look at myself in the mirror. i like the way my ribs and hips are visible. i run my fingers over my ribs. i like them. then I stand sideways and suck my tummy in, stretch my spine so my ribs stick out even more. i love that. i love the way it looks. I twist my body around slowly and watch how my skin moves over the bones.

then i turn and bend my back, look over my shoulder and look at how my spine sticks out.

then I stand looking straight at the mirror and repeat the whole process.

Its not like I'm desperate to be some super skinny girl, I don't care if people think I'm fat or thin, I just wanna be more skeletal, cos i think it looks nice.

Everyone in my classes seems so apathetic this year.

only 13 people showed up to class today. it seemed like a lot less because the room is so big. and even when people show up nobody does the readings.

im guilty of it too. I only did one of the readings for todays class and even then I barely contributed - i was finding his questions quite hard to get my head around. I've missed half of the classes for one of my modules, what with America, my uncle, and then just random stuff happening that meant i couldnt get there. i really don't think i've learnt much this semester and i'm feeling a bit like...my degree isn't really worth anything if i only study for the assignments and exams, because i wont really have any knowledge.

it just...spreads. most people don't do the reading so barely anyone answers questions in class and you end up falling asleep and not caring whats going on.

its a bit shit really. cos i do love learning. i think possibly its because of the exchange and people are off getting visas and such. but its just a bit crap. i want some enthusiasm! cos the texts we're doing are actually pretty good. oh well, i'm sure everyone will be excited about classes in America.



Sometimes...


...I want people to be astounded by my intelligence...

I feel pretty good today, which is strange considering im tired, hungry, have a cough and haven't done the reading for my class that is in an hour.

i woke up all teary last night at Petes because I was having a coughing fit. it wasn't very pleasant. but Petey got me a drink and took care of me ♥ i could do with some cough medicine (cough bottle :P) but i can't be bothered wasting my precious dollars on it. i'll just ride it out.

so, tonight is the night! I think I'll be up all night doing a damn assignment on a film that I've seen once - and even then I wasn't properly watching it. ah well, I'll blag it as usual. how the heck do students get away with so much??

Saturday is going to be cool. i'm heading over to Josalina's so she can do my hair! haha i feel so girly. Jenn usually does my hair when I'm going out though as I really can't do it myself. I dunno if I'm meant to be taking anything :S I don't actually own any hair stuff... oh well! then I think I'm meeting Maree in Edinburgh and we're heading over to scary Glasgow together.